Thirsty Suitors
What began as a first impression of a quirky coming-of-age story wound up becoming my obsession for the entire week. It’s rare that a game I’ve only seen through word of mouth has managed to capture my heart like this, but when it does, I’ll sing praises about it to the moon. Thirsty Suitors was a game that left an impression on me long after I finished it, completed the challenges, and almost “1000 Gamerscored” it. I’m excitedly setting this game up without giving it a proper introduction, so here are my full thoughts on the adventure game Thirsty Suitors. As always, please be mindful of spoilers although it’s minor at most, I promise.
Thirsty Suitors introduces Jala, a young woman who returns to her hometown, Timber Hills, yet it’s less of a homecoming and more of a passageway to hell. Before the events of the game, Jala was a promising teenager who was seen as a “jack of all trades” in everything. She was the popular girl, had good grades, was athletic, and was an overall sociable person. Jala was also known to be a whirlwind of disaster when it came to romances, specifically a handful of exes who each played a pivotal role in her life. What each ex had in common was that Jala had done something to hurt them. Not “unintentionally either,” but in the toxic “I’ll hurt you before you get a chance to hurt me.” sort of manner.
From the beginning, the player is told that Jala may not be the best person, as opposed to a heroic character. This is reflected in the three core stats that the player manages throughout the game, each representing Jala’s major traits. The Heartbreaker stat represents Jala’s heart, no pun intended. She uses words to attack them emotionally or entrance them with deceptive sweet nothings, but more often they are harsh truths that she speaks while unfiltered. Fittingly, this is the stat that governs her Attack Power the most.
The Star represents Jala’s desire to be the center of attention. The one who always has to be at everyone’s beck and call to feel wanted. Which begs the question, from where does the desire to be wanted come from? Even if it’s to wear masks that aren’t a true reflection of yourself. Ironically, I found that most of the logical answers were choices that net me Star stats. It wasn’t that Jala was dishonest whenever she gave these answers, but I felt it was her putting herself in the situation given to her. Consoling someone or trying to be understanding of someone’s pain is an example that can backfire, especially if you’re the one responsible for causing harm to begin with.
The final stat, The Bohemian, is Jala’s trait that I felt revolved around a “carefree” way of life. If the prison of the heart and the burden of appeasing everyone isn’t enough, simply “go with the flow” and march to the beat of your own drum. However, this can be taken as passive or being naturally distant towards others. As expected, this is the stat that raises the most in health as it takes a great deal of mental health to “keep pushing,” as it were.
These stats are mainly used for the battles, which is the game’s RPG section of this genre-bending trifecta. It’s difficult to pin down Thirsty Suitors as a single “niche,” as there are extreme sports, RPGs, and rhythm game genres all rolled into a nice visual novel package. In-game battles in Thirsty Suitors use traditional turn-based RPG gameplay with quick time events sprinkled in for bonus damage opportunities. Despite the name and intent, the battles never get physical in Thirsty Suitors, otherwise, this would be an entirely different plot altogether.
Battles involve using wordplay and trickery in the form of attacks, taunts, skills, and item usage to outwit your opponent, with everyone’s health representing their mental fortitude. Will Power is the ability to taunt and use skills, which can be recovered as the player attacks. As you’re battling your foes with wits, nothing is forbidden, and hitting below the belt is encouraged. Jala can put her opponents into any of the several moods. Shocked, Impressed, Thirsty, Heartbroken, and Raging,
Each mood has its pros and cons, for example, an impressed target will recover health each turn. Heartbroken and enraged targets will receive a damage buff but will take damage each turn and have a chance for their attacks to miss altogether respectively. Lastly, thirty and shocked opponents won’t have a chance to use any of their skills and attacks, referencing how sometimes we act outside ourselves when we’re lustful or too self-absorbed in our own heads.
Of course, these effects mean different ways for different foes, as is the case for each of the “evil exes” that Jala fights Twisted Suitors is fairly linear, with nine chapters in total, and a bonus "premium adventure-style" tenth chapter. Each chapter focuses on characters that Jala has affected in her life. The first ex she confronts, Sergio, is simple enough as he’s still head over heels for Jala. Through dialogue, we learn that they didn’t necessarily break up on heavy terms, but due to his obvious affection for Jala, this fight isn’t as complex as later fights will be.
Fights begin by placing an opponent in a mood via taunting and once her opponent is successful in a desired mood, Jala can use skills that are tied to her opponent’s mood for bonus damage. For example, everything is color-coded so a Thirsty target representing the color blue now takes bonus damage from attacks coded in “blue.” Jala gains a light and heavy damage single target attack as well as a multi-hitting attack in later levels for each mood. What’s more is that for multiple opponents, she can chain taunts as a successful taunt gets her a bonus turn.
There is a risk however with taunting, as each opponent has designated taunts that work for them while others are ineffective. These are easy to grasp with enough context clues. If an ex is incredibly impatient with Jala, she can use that to her advantage by saying a scathing remark that will send them into a Rage, thus making them susceptible to “red-coded attacks.” If an opponent is timid, she can try to prey on their vulnerability by intentionally saying hurtful things to inflict a “heartbroken” status. Purple-coded moves are then used for bonus damage.
While I was enjoying learning the combat mechanics, a part of me felt wrong in finding glee in some of these predicaments. Without spoiling too much, I think fighting an ex-friend about how meek they are only for them to retort that their father was dying is the kind of emotional whiplash Thirsty Suitors does well. The player is intentionally left without much of the context behind Jala’s actions and why almost the entire town looks at her scornfully.
Throughout the game, it’s revealed that Jala isn’t as much of a victim as she is much of the reason why her multiple fallouts take place. The central antagonist, Tyler, is the best example of this as she is the cover character who joins Jala, as well as one of the first exes that is introduced. However, Jala has to confront all of the other exes first before approaching the ex. It’s not that different from real life, especially when you’re a part of a community that you and your main ex nourished.
Every one of Jala’s exes has a story to share, most of which I could relate to in my own life. Diya was one that stood out for me as her boss battle is the first to deal with multiple personalities stemming from her own insecurities. It’s not much different from Jala’s coping mechanisms, where throughout the game she has an inner voice named “Narrator,” who takes up the image of her older sister. These inner voices represent the repressed words and emotions that each character keeps to themselves.
In Diya’s case, the pressure of being true to herself as a lesbian versus dealing with being disowned by a traditional cultural family in a broken home had sprouted this inner support system in her own personal world. Even after Jala reconciles with Diya, the latter still has some resentment towards the former and isn’t openly trusting her.
The most direct example would be Andile, the penultimate fight before confronting Tyler, serving as her “dragon.” While other exes may have had a thing for Jala either platonically or romantically, Andile is the exception as they feel disdain towards her for being used. What stood out for me was the representation here as Andile is a gender non-confirming non-binary with masculine and feminine traits despite his outwardly masculine appearance. Throughout the fight, Jala tends to both sides with two different sets of weaknesses and attack patterns, much like how one’s masc and femme side are two sides of the same coin.
Tyler is the final ex that Jala confronts and she’s also been the one who she had the most experience with. Being an immigrant and moving to the United States, Tyler was the first person she befriended. Jala was also there for Tyler during her transition from the beginning. So there’s a lot of intimacy and “firsts” going around, with said “firsts” being “life-changing firsts” that the two happened to share together. Reconciling with her friends and exes was something Jala wanted and needed to do, but it wasn’t the main reason she returned.
With a largely BIPOC queer cast, Thirsty Suitors pulls no punches with its identity and representation among its characters. The protagonist is bisexual, there are lesbians, implied aces and aromantics, non-binaries, and transwomen. That’s not even scratching the surface and a huge core conflict within the game is traditionalism vs self-expression. A huge part of the former stems from the household you’re raised in and a large part of Jala’s innate personality comes from her home.
This leads to the second gameplay mechanic of Thirsty Suitors, the cooking. The only part of the game where cooking matters is when you’re bonding with your parents. Since childhood, Jala had always felt like she needed to win her mother’s approval. When Jala returned to make amends, she didn’t even know that her older sister was having a wedding until her mother broke the news, in which Jala believes that she’s the “black sheep” of the family.
In reality, it’s Jala who had closed herself off and no one knew how to reach out to her, but at the same time, people begin to hold themselves accountable for not doing enough. You never fight your parents or your sister in Thirsty Suitors, spoiler alert, but you nurture your bonds through cooking food. These are rhythm game-based mini-games that require the player to rotate the analog stick, mash, or time button inputs to the metronome beat. It’s no different than using skills in combat, except your score is based on your parents’ approval ratings.
The more successful the player takes each step, the higher heat they gain per step. These can be used for “super steps” which increase the approval at a rapid rate. The higher the approval, the better quality of the food that is cooked, which then can be used in battle in a pinch. These dishes are also used to complete favors, optional sidequests that involve mending things with Jala’s exes after their boss battles. Players can earn clothing, accessories to help in battle, and skateboard designs as rewards.
This leads to the third and arguably most important aspect of Thirsty Suitors, skateboarding. Much like in other extreme sports games, the player can grind, trick, and transition around the game’s two main levels while racking up points. This is also Jala’s main method of travel, accessing certain hubs and venues within the city to start activities or enter shops. Jala can also participate in challenges handled by a bear cub helmet-wearing cult leader which will earn her more rewards. While these aren’t required to complete the game, the skateboarding aspect was an efficient way to take my mind off of the heaviness the game provided at times.
The fear of not living up to the expectations of others, especially the older generation of your family who can in no way understand what the modern world is like for a younger generation, is one all cultures face. Culture is one of the main topics in Thirsty Suitors as Jala’s South Asian family holds on to specific virtues that Jala herself tries her best to abide by. However, it also teaches the player it’s okay to be selfish. If it’s hurting you to try and be the poster child, then sometimes you have to hurt others to protect yourself.
There is a balance though between “protecting yourself” and “running away from yourself.” Jala isn’t the only one who is doing this and everyone who she confronts has some part of introspection to look in themselves. Again, not spoiling the ending but the final boss shows that there are some fights that other adults must fight in your place. You can’t do everything alone and most importantly, you’re not alone and undeserving of redemption.
If this was a simple visual novel, I would praise Thirsty Suitors for its story alone. The concept of using different genres to convey the mundane in a dynamic way is why I’m giving this a five star. I’ve often seen memes of how conversations are a “turn-based strategy” game and Thirsty Suitors takes that same idea yet runs with it. It’s like Scott Pilgrim, with everyone having relatable problems brought to the extremes with the imaginations of everyone involved.
No one is physically violent, of course, but the battles in the game are all metaphorical. In arguments, we do gaslight, we defend ourselves, and we sometimes need to take a breather by eating a snack to restore our “willpower.” As a Black non-binary myself, I related to almost everyone within the town of Timber Hills and it was told through an engaging unique manner filled with pop culture references. If you’ve made it this far to the end, it’s safe to say that I highly recommend Thirsty Suitors. There have been very few games I’ve played in recent memory that I invested myself in.
Usually, video games are meant as a way to escape. I’m never going to be a Yakuza member but I can pretend to be a badass like one. Games like Thirsty Suitors, bring me back down to Earth. I’ve been through a lot of what Jala and others have been through and to see it portrayed in a way that is both fun and accessible is a rare feat to accomplish. Thirsty Suitors is a hidden gem in every sense of the word. It may not be the most perfect game, but it’s one that everyone should play with an open mind and an open heart, especially for the Game Pass owners.
Thirsty Suitors is available on PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, PC, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, and Nintendo Switch. It is currently available on Game Pass.